Empathy: Blessing or Curse

***So I just realized that I never posted this from 2013***Better late than never, I suppose....

I cannot believe it has been over a year since I've updated our family blog. I wouldn't say that anything ridiculously out of the ordinary has happened. We have had our ups and downs as all families do, but what doesn't kill you makes your stronger...or a zombie, I guess. (The Walking Dead series has my husband hooked and convinced that the Zombie Apocalypse is closer everyday.)

I suppose the real news to report is that Dannah will be having her two front teeth extracted tomorrow morning. I have so many feelings about this, none of which are very pleasant. No, it's not because her parents failed to provide her good dental hygiene ( in fact, her and her brother and ZERO cavities at their dental check-up last week.) It is the unfortunate result of an injury she sustained last fall.

It was a dark and stormy night...well maybe not THAT dramatic, but scary nonetheless. She and her brother were playing some form of tag and as she rounded the kitchen corner, she slipped and fell, hitting her wide open mouth on the edge of our metal dog crate. The immediate result was a lot of blood and a pretty gnarley gumline around her two front teeth.  I have to say, I was quite shocked that her teeth weren't knocked out right then and there.  I was an emotional wreck at the time and my best friend Amy, who cannot stand the sight of blood, was the level headed one. (Of course Mitchell was at work). So we kept an eye on it and nothing ever came of it, or so we thought.

So we took the kids to their dental check-up and routine cleaning and the X-rays of Dannah's mouth revealed that she indeed had damage to the roots of those teeth and developed absesses in her two front teeth and they had actually become loose. I would have to say I think I took the news pretty well. It probably helped that I didn't really have any warning and also didn't want to make a fool out of myself in the dentist's office.

So the dentist explained to us that both teeth would need to be pulled and that we shouldn't put it off.  So it was scheduled for March 18th. And the next day I get a call that it was going to be moved up to March 5th as the dentist didn't even think it should wait another 13 days.  Talk about no time to prepare.

So for the past 6 days I have been in rare form. I am generally not one to get worked up over things such as this---what must be done must be done. I have been careful to choose medical professionals that I trust without the need to second guess, so that is not what I have been worried about. I'm a little embarassed to say, but my sadness is the anticipation of my daughter's fear, pain, discomfort and sadness. I'm sure you can figure out the first three feelings, but the fourth is the crazy one.

I so often find myself putting my self in someone's elses shoes and making decisions based on how I think they will feel.  Is this a blessing or a curse?  I say it's both. It is easy to be selfish.  You only have to worry about yourself.  But trying to make one decision in the best interests of 2 people is exhausting I tell you.  I am by no means trying to toot my own horn.  I try to instill in my children the need to consider the feelings of others when making choices....whether on the playground or in the classroom or just in life in general.  Not that we are to be ruled by the reactions of others, but just imagine what life would be like if we lived in a more compassionate and empathetic world. 

I pray that my children get to enjoy a world such as this and may actually be world changers....

Too big for our Britches

Talk about being broken-hearted...I knew this day would come sooner or later...Jac is too big for his britches.

The other night as we were spending time together as a family before bedtime, I asked Jac if I could hold his hand, just as I have many times before, and I assumed he would accept as he always has.  But this night would be different.  Tonight, his reply was "No, mommy, I'm too big, and I'm getting bigger."  Can you imagine my shock and sudden feeling of rejection? How could my sweet little boy deny me such a small request? I think he immediately sensed my despair and then said "No, mommy, I'm still little, you can hold my hand."  So it seems that even he knows that at some point he is going to grow up and be too big for things.  I have also determined that this is where it was not such a bad idea to have Jac & Dannah so close together.  Because as soon as he has outgrown something, she's right smack in the middle of it.  So I have at least another year or two to enjoy holding Dannah's hand (I'm hoping).      

It has surprised me just how much I am now remembering from my childhood, now that I'm a mother myself.  And things that I thought were so silly, now have so much significance.  I can very clearly remember several occasions that my mom wanted to hold my hand. Not for any specific reason (like crossing the street or to pray, although we did that, too), but just to hold my hand.  I never really minded obliging her, but always wondered what her motives were. 

But now I know...

I don't know about the rest of you, but from the first day my children were born, Jac being the first one, I have been fascinated with his hands.  We inspect them when they first arrive, counting to make sure that all 10 of those precious fingers are just as they should be.  We cover anything we can find in their hand prints or finger prints for keepsakes. 

This incident happened several nights ago, but I have not been able to stop thinking about it.  And the more I reflect, the more I am convicted by the Holy Spirit. This must often be the same response given to our Heavenly Father.  How many times must he just want to "hold our hands."  Not when we need something, or when we're hurt or need guidance...but just because He loves us and wants to be near us.  And how often do we reject him because we think we are "big" and don't need him.  WE'RE TOO BIG FOR OUR BRITCHES!  Yet He continues to ask.  How it must fill His heart with joy when we are the ones that go to him and ask.  Just because we love Him.  Because He love us. 

It's times like these that I am reminded of the love parents have for their children, and more specifically I understand the love my mom has for me.  I can never thank her enough for her encouragement and support. It is now that I finally understand what it means to be a mother (parent) and to love without reserve.   

It's a McWonderful Life

Well, I figured I'd try my hand at blogging.  I don't know that anyone will find anything I have to say all that interesting. But after reading the blogs of several friends, I've decided for me, as I think it is for them also, this will be a way for me to document the journey of our family.

This also happens to be my most favorite time of year and as good a time as any to get started.  Mitchell and I recently celebrated our 8 year wedding anniversary, November 22nd, and in just a couple of weeks will be celebrating our son Jac's 3rd birthday.

Speaking of Jac, so many times people refer to "Christmas Miracles", and for us, Jac is that Christmas miracle. For those of you that don't know, Mitchell and I tried for more than 4 years to conceive and felt all hope was lost... until I met Dr. O, who has forever changed our lives and for whom I will always be grateful for. I am sure there will be more talk of this in posts to come.

Mitchell & I are both working full-time, the kids are attending a creative arts preschool here on the island part-time and we are cultivating friendships and growing in our faith...I am sure there will be no shortage of shenanigans to report...

There is just so much that happens during this season, and I'm sure that this year will not disappoint and I am looking forward to all of the memories to post.

So, I guess this is really just an intro and a sampling of what's to come...